Postpartum Anxiety, Autoimmune Flare-Ups, and the Cost of Not Being Heard

As her coffee mug crashed to the floor, Jessica knew something was wrong. “I just lost control of my hand,” she recalls. “I had postpartum anxiety also, so I just felt like such a hot mess trying to clean that up.”

At the time, she was home alone with three children under the age of four. Her body felt foreign—numbness in her limbs, dry skin patches, joint stiffness. But it was the anxiety and physical breakdown that finally made her stop and ask: What’s actually going on?

The First Signs of an Autoimmune Condition

Jessica, a registered dietitian and head coach for Respin Health, said her symptoms began years earlier.

“Each pregnancy, and honestly every stressful event in my life, would trigger something strange—like patches showing up on my elbows or knees,” she explains. “I thought maybe it was just dry skin, so I’d slap on lotion and move on.”

 "I felt like my body was betraying me.”

During pregnancy, she brushed off the red, scaly spots, thinking they were just hormonal. “My worst ones were always on my tailbone. That’s where it would start bleeding if I didn’t keep lotion on it,” she says. “It was ugly, but I figured it would go away.”

After her third baby, the symptoms escalated. “I started noticing joint pain in my hands and feet,” she says. “And when that mug dropped, it scared me. I felt like my body was betraying me.”

Dismissed by Her Doctor While Breastfeeding

Jessica brought her concerns to a specialist, hoping for clarity. Instead, she said, she was handed a prescription—and an ultimatum.

“She tells me, ‘Yep, you have psoriatic arthritis. You need to start steroids right away,’” Jessica recalls. “I tell her I’m still breastfeeding, and she says, ‘Okay, you need to quit and start this medication.’”

At the time, Jessica was working in maternal health and breastfeeding education—teaching prenatal nutrition and baby-led weaning. “I know how important breastfeeding is for my baby,” she says. “So when she tells me to just stop, so casually, red flags go up everywhere.”

Jessica asked if there were other options—diet or lifestyle changes that could help. “I tell her I’m a dietitian and would love to try some lifestyle strategies first,” she says. “She laughs and says, ‘No, that’s not a choice.’”

Jessica walked out of the appointment in tears. “She makes me feel like if I don’t follow her plan, I’ll become a burden to my family,” she says.

A New Path Through Diet and Functional Medicine

That night, Jessica broke down—but also took action. “I realize I’m not a victim here. I have a choice,” she says. She began researching and eventually found a functional medicine doctor who offered a different approach: compassion and curiosity.

"If I get sloppy with my diet or overloaded with stress, the symptoms come right back."

“She says, ‘Of course I’d love to help you figure this out,’” Jessica recalls. “No pressure. No shame.”

Jessica started an elimination diet. “It’s so hard,” she says. “I’m handed a list of foods I can’t eat, but no recipes or guidance. It’s just, ‘Don’t eat these things.’ So I have to figure it all out from scratch.”

For six months, she avoided gluten, dairy, processed foods, and added sugars. “I cooked every meal from scratch. My friends didn’t even know what I could eat. It was incredibly isolating—but it worked.”

Eventually, she reintroduced foods and learned that gluten and stress were her biggest triggers. “If I get sloppy with my diet or overloaded with stress, the symptoms come right back,” she says.

The Mental Load: Breastfeeding and Postpartum Anxiety

Jessica said breastfeeding was a constant challenge—one that fueled her postpartum anxiety. “It never comes easily for me, and I start to feel like a failure. I think, I can’t even feed my baby—what kind of mom am I?”

She followed every rule—no screens, no stomach sleeping, nap schedules. “I’m a perfectionist, a type A person, and I thought following all the rules would make me a good mom.”

The anxiety built until her husband stepped in. “I remember my husband saying, ‘You need to go for a run,’” she says. “And I’d run to the point of exhaustion just to feel the anxiety lift off me.”

Jessica admitted she didn’t tell her doctor. “I lied on the postpartum screening forms,” she says. “I didn't want to be a burden. I’ll just push through. I always do.”

In hindsight, she wishes she had asked for help. “There’s no shame in asking for help,” she says. “It’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.”

When Perimenopause Symptoms Start Early

Around age 40, Jessica began experiencing a new wave of symptoms. “I have heart palpitations, anxiety, insomnia, nerve pain,” she says. “My blood pressure dropped dramatically when I stood up. I was told it might be POTS, and I get sent for scans to rule out a brain tumor.”

Multiple tests came back inconclusive, but Jessica had a hunch. “I asked to try progesterone, and my doctor agreed,” she says. “Within weeks, my nerve pain and palpitations went away. My anxiety got better. That’s when I knew—this is hormonal.”

She later learned that nerve pain and autoimmune flare-ups can be tied to falling estrogen. “Our gut becomes more permeable under stress or hormonal shifts,” she explains. “That’s why symptoms can spike during pregnancy or perimenopause.”

Managing Autoimmunity and Perimenopause With Food and Movement

Jessica continued to manage her psoriatic arthritis with food and movement. “Gluten is my biggest trigger,” she says. “And now that I understand how blood sugar and insulin resistance affect inflammation, I’ve adjusted my diet.”

She focused on high-fiber vegetables, lean protein, and resistance training. “Muscle is magic in midlife,” she says. “It helps regulate blood sugar, balance hormones, and reduce anxiety.”

She also described herself as a “flexitarian”—mostly plant-based, but not rigid. “I was a vegetarian for years, but pregnancy changed that,” she adds.

A Message for Other Women

“We are the experts of our own bodies,” she says. “But we’re often taught to doubt ourselves, or that asking for help is weakness.”

She adds: “What if our true strength and courage lies in speaking up—telling the truth about what we feel, what we need—and removing the shame around that?”

For those beginning their own journey, she recommends looking for a menopause-certified specialist through the North American Menopause Society (NAMS) and building community.

“You are allowed to walk away from providers who don’t listen,” she says. “Even if they’re respected, even if they’re kind—you get to choose what works for you.”